Covered Bride Custom

In answer to Dave's comment question:

'Does it ever happen that the groom uncovers the bride and discovers she is not who he thought he married?'

I asked my tutor Hamani this question. And he immediately started to chuckle and laugh. The immediate answer was 'yes'.

The reason for the laughter: it is usually a joke played on the groom; and usually, when the groom unveils his 'bride', he discovers one of his male friends or perhaps one of the bride's sisters. The bride is hidden away close to the hut though, as her parents know that she has already been stolen away to her groom (it is close to midnight!).

Hamani did recall a story once though, in the fashion of Jacob, Rachel and Leah from the Bible, of a Fulani groom who uncovered his 'bride' and found her older sister. He asked her what she was doing there and she said it was she who her father had given. He argued that he had paid dowry for her younger sister and she replied that her younger sister could not be married before she was. The groom immediately left the hut, rejoined his friends and left the vicinity. The next morning, he went to the father's hut to settle the dipute.

Upon speaking with the father, he learned that the father 'thought' he was bartering for the oldest daughter. The father said the younger sister was pledged in marriage to someone else and could not be given to him. The groom refused to marry the older sister and the family had to return the dowry and all the gifts.

One of my visitors last week also asked if the marriages are arranged or if the bride and groom can choose their partners.

Abdoulaye, our host that day, spoke that historically the marriages were arranged. However, with time and culture changing now, the bride and groom will often know each other before and have a choice in the marriage. If a young man requests marriage, the young lady in question has the right to say no and she is not forced to marry.

I have also learned, that contrary to our culture, it is permitted - and quite common - for the Fulani to marry within family clan and first cousins.

The courting ritual, as described by Hamani, is quite interesting. First off, the young man does not approach the young lady he wishes to see. He sends his friend over to her hut. The friends main goal is to slyly indicate: 'So, my friend x is thinking that he might like walk over to the well at such and such a time tomorrow. Do you think you may be drawing water at that time of day?'. If she answers positively, the 'date' is set and they meet at the well. However, it is also important that the someone speaks to the young girls family on behalf of the young man as well.

So that is the Fulani courting and wedding customs in the nutshell that I currently understand!