Expectations & Preparations

This Sunday, the preacher at church spoke on how our expectations impact our preparations and oftimes the outcome. He asked many questions:

• What do we expect from our ministries?
• What do we expect from our family?
• What do we expect from our colleagues?

The easy question - I thought - for my immediate answer was:

• What do you expect from this week?

This question was easy as, aside from finishing the accounting yesterday morning, this week is vacation! Just a week to do nothing and catch up on some rest. No big expectations, no big preparations . . . . just sleeping in and relaxation at the Rec Centre in air conditioning . . . and the desired outcome should be - voilà - rest!

However, today, that plan fell apart: for some reason, the greater world did not get my memo!

Today started at 8:30am. When my neighbour sent their cook over to retrieve something that a colleague had given me last week to pass off to them (they were out East until this week). So, I woke up at 8:30 when my guard rang the doorbell!! This is in fact unusual, it is rare that my guards will come to the door when the hallway curtains are still closed.

By the time I was publicly presentable (house dresses come in handy) he had left. So I figured maybe I could get back to sleep again.

But, my househelp who normally arrives between 10-10:30 came early . . . at 9am!! We discussed yesterday that I was on holidays and she mentioned that she had something to discuss with me. I told her that I would stick around in the morning so that we could talk. Apparently she either wanted to make sure I was still there or she figured early was better so I did not have to wait around too long.

Then, at 9:30 a colleague arrived to check on the workers who are working on my car hangar - who incidently were about the only people not in the yard - and to drop off a dvd. The gardener had also shown up - unannounced and unrequested - I asked a gardener from another organization to come and plant a few new flowers and bushes (last year, I planted those which need sun in the shade and vice versa . . . they don't come with the nifty little plastic information tabs here!). He keeps showing up to do work even though I told him that I cannot pay him to come every week, but he also keeps prolonging the work, so today I told him he has one more day to finish and that's it . . . but another story - back to today. Unfortunately, it does not end there:

At 10:00 I received a call from a Fulani friend - the sister of his aunt passed away yesterday. The family was upset with him yesterday that he had not told me and why had I not come to offer my condolences. So, today he called me and asked me to come. Admittedly, the first thought through my head was: 'Guess I need to learn not to answer the phone on my vacation'. However, relationship building is what I am here for - and this situation is definitely one that calls for giving beyond measures. So I practiced dying to myself today and drove to my friend's house.

I did not stay long - shorter than I would in Canada, but longer than my Fulani tutor tells me is appropriate for said situation. I did today learn of how the Fulani view death - surprisingly, given the mortality statistics for Niger, this is the first funeral (visitation - the actual funeral was yesterday as it is required within 24 hours of the death) among my Fulani friends that I have attended in my year and four months here.

There was no open mourning or grief - the Fulani do not cry. Yet, the statements of some aunts resound with fatalism - 'this happens, it is a road that none of us can avoid'. Definite truth in this though. On the flip side, I saw the hopelessness of death in the shock and trauma of my friend. It appears that this was somewhat unexpected despite her being sick. My friend was at the house with his cousin and in the end was holding his aunt in his arms when she died unexpectedly. He says that he suffered heart palpitations all day yesterday and could not stop being physically ill until his family took him to the clinic today to receive injections to stop his body's reaction to vomit. My going today was probably more for him than for the rest of the family.

Yet despite all this - and the grace of God through my selfish desire to not have my vacation interrupted - his aunts have now extended an open invitation for me to come and visit any time of any weekend to practice my Fulfulde. I have been praying for language partners as my previous family (that I found in January) spoke a high percentage of Djarma mixed with their Fulfulde. I have been hesitant to visit this family because my only contact is this young man, but now the door is open that I can go without needing an intermediary and the breaking of any social protocol or expectations!

So, indeed, the outcome of today was not as expected nor prepared . . . yet the outcome has not only fulfilled my grander expectations, beyond needing a week of rest, but surpassed my expectations and preparations.